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Showing posts from 2009

Oh, the Places You'll Go

Well, I know it's been a while and I really have nothing truly of note to write. Just want you to understand that I love you and that I will, in fact, get better. See, that was a promise. One I intend to keep. Smooches.

Avert Your Eyes

Dear Judgy McJudgenstein: It's been a pleasure waiting to catch my flight with you, but I ned you to do one thing. STOP STARING AT ME AS I EAT MY CHEESE FRIES...WITH RANCH. Granted, I'm sure I was quite attractive to you before I shoved my mouth with the crispy deliciousness from Charley's Grilled Subs, but I'm happy and I need you to understand that. I wiped my mouth when the cheese dribbled out the side and even covered up when I took in a whole forkful like a pro. So please, sir, do not judge me and let me enjoy this delectable delight in peace and avert your eyes. Sincerely, Fatty McFattenstein