Avert Your Eyes
Dear Judgy McJudgenstein: It's been a pleasure waiting to catch my flight with you, but I ned you to do one thing. STOP STARING AT ME AS I EAT MY CHEESE FRIES...WITH RANCH. Granted, I'm sure I was quite attractive to you before I shoved my mouth with the crispy deliciousness from Charley's Grilled Subs, but I'm happy and I need you to understand that. I wiped my mouth when the cheese dribbled out the side and even covered up when I took in a whole forkful like a pro. So please, sir, do not judge me and let me enjoy this delectable delight in peace and avert your eyes. Sincerely, Fatty McFattenstein