Baby Boy
Ask any one person about me, they'd tell you I was one of the strongest personalities they'd ever been in contact with. Some may say stubborn, some may say sweet, some may say reliable, some may say funny, some still will call me a bitch. The point is, no matter what word they use, it's the one characteristic that stands out to them about ME. I am my own person, there is no one like me nor can anyone change me. Once I've made up my mind, it's done. "A wrap," which was once (and still is) one of my favorite phrases. I like to see things from beginning to end and don't half-ass is on the way there.
In my circle of influence, there's a constant flow of energy from all sides. I give my friends the strength and courage they need to handle their lives, they in turn give me perspective to understand things aren't always black and white, cut and dry. They inspire me and I inspire them. It's a wonderful thing to be able to give and take from a true friend. Best of all, when we rise, we rise together. If one of us is falling beind, we don't just leave, we pick them up, smack 'em awake and drag them along with us. A shoulder to cry on, an ear to scream at, someone to laugh with, that's what friends are for. That's my take on friendship, maybe I'm just blessed.
My brother, not so much. I don't know what his take on friendship is, but he needs to take a serious look at one o f 'em. I like to think of myself as one of my brother's friends, but when we're not laughing and joking and I get real with him, I suddenly become his big sister. The case is the same with my dad. He basically gets upset with anyone who challenges him and asks what his plan is to achieve his dream. I'm all for dreams, but I think the point of having them is to STRIVE for them. My brother wants to be a rapper, fine. What do we need to do to get you out there? I've put him on the web, I pull up information on different contests and competitions around Atlanta to see if he's interested in going (which he isn't). I do whatever is in my power to get my brother where he needs to be so he can touch HIS dream. Hell, I do everything short of hoppin' on stage and rapping FOR him. And again, it's HIS dream. There's nothing like looking back on your life and being SO depressed cuz you didn't take a chance on yourself.
The things I do for my brother, I'd do for anyone I truly beleived in. Martini and his acting gigs, Ricardo and screenplay seminars, Wendy and her PA research, Daphnie and her fashion show goals, Kristy and her wedding. If there's anything I can do to give someone I care about more access and/or exposure for their dreams, I do. I take great pride in others'success ("Best Supporting Actress" as I like to call myself), whether or not I had anything to do with it. But I'm getting sidetracked, lemme refocus.
My brother doesn't think individually. I don't know why, but he doesn't. Like, he'll come to a conclusion himself, but when his friends tell him something different, he listens to them. My dad once told me getting advice from my peers was silly because they were drawing from the same bank of knowldge I was (not his exact words, but I demonstrated artistic license with that one, sonds cooler). Though he was right, I always kept the open mind that maybe my friends did indeed know a little more about a certain situation than they let on. But I always made sure I knew what approach I did NOT want to take before asking for their advice. My brother, not so much. He misinterprets things for some reason. You can listen to someone and not take their advice without hurting their feelings. He doesn't get that, I guess. Still not the point, so let me get right to it.
I don't like my brother's friend Terron. I just don't. He's a moccher who aspires to be nothing more than someone else's employee. Terron's a talented kid who's done nothing with his life. He didn't get his high school diploma and any attempts to get his GED (that I'm aware of) have failed. He lived with my and my brother for 6 months and it was the worst time of my life. So now he's back. Not living with me, but back in town. He has been for about 5 months, but he's been lying REAL low. Sure, he'd come over, spend a night or two, then bounce. Until recently. Terron's been at my house for 6 days now and I'm thinkin' he's got designs on tryin' to stay again. Not as far as I can help it. When Terron first came down, I knew his story and understoof his struggle and thought I was giving him a better chance at life. (Charlie Murphy voice) WRONG!! WRONG!! Terron was a bum from day 1 and I learned my lesson. He didn't inspore Chris to do anything and he hasn't changed, either. I know I can't choose my brother's friends for him, but I can damn sure see to it that no one takes advantage of me.
The thing that irks me is that my brother has friends that are progressing in life. He's got Joery, whose goin' to college up in Buffalo, got his own place, doin' the damn thing. Corey, he's in school, got his own spot and has plans on goin' places. He's got a friend that goes to Hofstra, holdin' things DOWN in the NY. And they try with him, I see that, but he doesn't aim to do anything more, I guess. I don't know HOW many times he's been invited to go out to Hofstra, to take a weekend and hang out with his friends, I can't count how many times I've offered to take him. I understand my brother was robbed of the college experience because of my mother's death, but he needs to get up on that horse again. I want him to experience things so he has more to rap about than how nice he is, but I can't make him do anything he has no desire to.
In my circle of influence, there's a constant flow of energy from all sides. I give my friends the strength and courage they need to handle their lives, they in turn give me perspective to understand things aren't always black and white, cut and dry. They inspire me and I inspire them. It's a wonderful thing to be able to give and take from a true friend. Best of all, when we rise, we rise together. If one of us is falling beind, we don't just leave, we pick them up, smack 'em awake and drag them along with us. A shoulder to cry on, an ear to scream at, someone to laugh with, that's what friends are for. That's my take on friendship, maybe I'm just blessed.
My brother, not so much. I don't know what his take on friendship is, but he needs to take a serious look at one o f 'em. I like to think of myself as one of my brother's friends, but when we're not laughing and joking and I get real with him, I suddenly become his big sister. The case is the same with my dad. He basically gets upset with anyone who challenges him and asks what his plan is to achieve his dream. I'm all for dreams, but I think the point of having them is to STRIVE for them. My brother wants to be a rapper, fine. What do we need to do to get you out there? I've put him on the web, I pull up information on different contests and competitions around Atlanta to see if he's interested in going (which he isn't). I do whatever is in my power to get my brother where he needs to be so he can touch HIS dream. Hell, I do everything short of hoppin' on stage and rapping FOR him. And again, it's HIS dream. There's nothing like looking back on your life and being SO depressed cuz you didn't take a chance on yourself.
The things I do for my brother, I'd do for anyone I truly beleived in. Martini and his acting gigs, Ricardo and screenplay seminars, Wendy and her PA research, Daphnie and her fashion show goals, Kristy and her wedding. If there's anything I can do to give someone I care about more access and/or exposure for their dreams, I do. I take great pride in others'success ("Best Supporting Actress" as I like to call myself), whether or not I had anything to do with it. But I'm getting sidetracked, lemme refocus.
My brother doesn't think individually. I don't know why, but he doesn't. Like, he'll come to a conclusion himself, but when his friends tell him something different, he listens to them. My dad once told me getting advice from my peers was silly because they were drawing from the same bank of knowldge I was (not his exact words, but I demonstrated artistic license with that one, sonds cooler). Though he was right, I always kept the open mind that maybe my friends did indeed know a little more about a certain situation than they let on. But I always made sure I knew what approach I did NOT want to take before asking for their advice. My brother, not so much. He misinterprets things for some reason. You can listen to someone and not take their advice without hurting their feelings. He doesn't get that, I guess. Still not the point, so let me get right to it.
I don't like my brother's friend Terron. I just don't. He's a moccher who aspires to be nothing more than someone else's employee. Terron's a talented kid who's done nothing with his life. He didn't get his high school diploma and any attempts to get his GED (that I'm aware of) have failed. He lived with my and my brother for 6 months and it was the worst time of my life. So now he's back. Not living with me, but back in town. He has been for about 5 months, but he's been lying REAL low. Sure, he'd come over, spend a night or two, then bounce. Until recently. Terron's been at my house for 6 days now and I'm thinkin' he's got designs on tryin' to stay again. Not as far as I can help it. When Terron first came down, I knew his story and understoof his struggle and thought I was giving him a better chance at life. (Charlie Murphy voice) WRONG!! WRONG!! Terron was a bum from day 1 and I learned my lesson. He didn't inspore Chris to do anything and he hasn't changed, either. I know I can't choose my brother's friends for him, but I can damn sure see to it that no one takes advantage of me.
The thing that irks me is that my brother has friends that are progressing in life. He's got Joery, whose goin' to college up in Buffalo, got his own place, doin' the damn thing. Corey, he's in school, got his own spot and has plans on goin' places. He's got a friend that goes to Hofstra, holdin' things DOWN in the NY. And they try with him, I see that, but he doesn't aim to do anything more, I guess. I don't know HOW many times he's been invited to go out to Hofstra, to take a weekend and hang out with his friends, I can't count how many times I've offered to take him. I understand my brother was robbed of the college experience because of my mother's death, but he needs to get up on that horse again. I want him to experience things so he has more to rap about than how nice he is, but I can't make him do anything he has no desire to.
My brother hasn't grown since high school is the bottom line. Terron's stuck in high school and Jamere IS in high school, so they can relate to one another. Terron likes to reminisce and talk about the good old days of laughing and joking and rap battles in the cafeteria of Ramapo High School, but it goes no further than that. Yeah, they talk about how thye're gonna live when they blow up, but haven't done anything TO blow up. I know my brother thinks Diddy or Jay or Kanye or J.D. are gonna come knocking at our door looking for him, but the reality of the situation is that's that's not gonna happen. I stand to be in a better position to be famous than my brother. And I'm not even really TRYING cuz I know what a tough business entertainment is.
I don't know what to do to shake him, either. I've already decided to get my own apartment cuz I know he's gonna start coming at me with the nonsense of getting a place with Terron, which I don't plan to do, or moving back to NY, which I plan on letting him do. I've spent 2 years trying to tend and nurture my brother and now it's time for him to grow the f up. If he wants to run behind Terron, laughing and joking about shit that was cool in '03, then so be it, but I'm not gonna stand by and watch. Guess the time has come for baby boy to leave the f'n nest...
Comments