"JustTrina"

Sometimes I imagine pulling around the corner see your car, either waiting to take me out or just surprising me with a hangout. Sometimes I imagine you leave something on my doorstep, something I mentioned in passing. Sometimes I imagine you ring my bell and kiss me passionately when I answer...they can’t all be movie kisses, but every now and again it works. Sometimes I imagine getting off work and see you waiting outside. Sometimes I imagine you give me time; unadulterated, to do with as I please. Sometimes it’s spent in silence, others it’s the question game. Sometimes I imagine looking at you from across a room, our connection completely missed by everyone else, but palpable between us. Sometimes I imagine you let me tell you everything, every thought that comes to mind; all without judgment or fear of loss. Sometimes I imagine that my heart swells when you make eye contact with me and smile. Sometimes I imagine you just want to be around me cuz no matter w...

You know, I've been looking for an outlet to deal with all these emotions when I remembered my blog. Actually, I never forgot about it, I just tried coping on my own. Then I had the epiphany that led me to write again: If I died, no one would care. This isn't some "woe is me" kind of blog, it's a matter-of-fact realization that I am about to back up with facts. Maybe stating no one would care seems a little extreme, but it is what it is. Yes, my father would be sad and of COURSE my brother would be devastated. So maybe I retract and state that none of my friends would care. I'm the person that does everything for everyone, so admittedly my absence might be felt. It's just that they wouldn't MISS me.  It would be something like "this is normally something JustTrina handles. Oh well, I'll just do it myself." The world would continue to spin, the sun continue to rise. The problem is that I handle everything for everyone and no one does...