From "Rachel" to "Ross" -- An Open Letter
Dearest "Ross" --
Yes, I'm years too late and yes, this thin veil of anonymity is probably not the declaration you're looking for. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're not looking for a declaration from me at ALL. Nonetheless, this is keeping me awake and I need it out of my head.
Let me first start off with an apology. I was going to start with the fact that I love you, but that's WAY too cliche for my taste. So, I'm sorry. Sorry I was a bitch to you for the entire duration of our 3 week relationship and the vast majority of our high school friendship. Sorry I emasculated you, kept you at arms length and constantly made you feel inadequate. I don't really have an explanation for my behavior, just that I wasn't where I needed to be for us to survive--or better yet, strive. So there you have it, I'm sorry for all I did (and didn't do) throughout our time together.
I write this letter in hopes that it finds you and that maybe someday, we can have a healthy and unhindered friendship. To ask for anything more is simply unfair and unrealistic at this point in time and I am now adult enough to understand that.
So yes, my earlier declaration of love. I've always loved you, "Ross", and most likely, always will. Because of my nature, I know now that I did (and probably always will) take you for granted. I don't mean to, blame genetics. There's just something about having a "lobster" that makes you think that somehow, things will work out and everything will be okay (I mean, it TOTALLY worked on "Friends"). But everything's not okay; we are to be held accountable for our actions and I'm stepping up to the plate and doing so. I want you to know that I miss and appreciate the friendship we had and can't wait for the day we can look back on our estrangement and laugh.
Again, my apology may have come too late and I know it cannot undo the damage that has been done. I can only hope that the fact that I AM sorry makes the wounds inflicted a little less painful. Heartfelt and completely true, this apology is from me to you.
Yes, I'm years too late and yes, this thin veil of anonymity is probably not the declaration you're looking for. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're not looking for a declaration from me at ALL. Nonetheless, this is keeping me awake and I need it out of my head.
Let me first start off with an apology. I was going to start with the fact that I love you, but that's WAY too cliche for my taste. So, I'm sorry. Sorry I was a bitch to you for the entire duration of our 3 week relationship and the vast majority of our high school friendship. Sorry I emasculated you, kept you at arms length and constantly made you feel inadequate. I don't really have an explanation for my behavior, just that I wasn't where I needed to be for us to survive--or better yet, strive. So there you have it, I'm sorry for all I did (and didn't do) throughout our time together.
I write this letter in hopes that it finds you and that maybe someday, we can have a healthy and unhindered friendship. To ask for anything more is simply unfair and unrealistic at this point in time and I am now adult enough to understand that.
So yes, my earlier declaration of love. I've always loved you, "Ross", and most likely, always will. Because of my nature, I know now that I did (and probably always will) take you for granted. I don't mean to, blame genetics. There's just something about having a "lobster" that makes you think that somehow, things will work out and everything will be okay (I mean, it TOTALLY worked on "Friends"). But everything's not okay; we are to be held accountable for our actions and I'm stepping up to the plate and doing so. I want you to know that I miss and appreciate the friendship we had and can't wait for the day we can look back on our estrangement and laugh.
Again, my apology may have come too late and I know it cannot undo the damage that has been done. I can only hope that the fact that I AM sorry makes the wounds inflicted a little less painful. Heartfelt and completely true, this apology is from me to you.
Comments