HOW I FEEL...

In case you've been wondering, yes, I am still alive. Barely, but still. I've had 2 emotional breakdowns with only one including violence, which is good by 1999 standards.

Nothing really big, just missed my mom on Mother's Day and punched my (ex) friend Quince for making a vomit face at me last week. In hindsight, the punching, while not necessary, REALLY felt good. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. And no, I did not apologize. In the interest of full disclosue, I DID apologize--for missing him and hitting my cousin--but I was still okay with ending the friendship. It was a selfish moment, I admit, but sometimes I deserve those.

Anyway, now that I am in a generally good mood, I decided that it was time to really get down to the brass of what's happening in my old noodle: I may need medication. Either that or some Yaz in my life. My emotions are at an all-time low after my cycle and I don't share that for comedic value, I believe it to be the honest truth.

Examples? Of course!! Today was a good day, I had a big breakfast, a yummy smoothie and a delicious snack. All the sudden, I hit a wall of annoyance and upset, prompting this blog post. My mind wandered to one of my cousins has put me on probation because she did not like that I disagreed with some choices she made. I also began to mourn the end of a friendship as well as how others view my actions. This is supposed to be a day filled with awesomeness and it is turning out to be glum.

I don't know what it is, I just know I don't want to be THAT girl. I HATE THAT girl, I stay away from THAT girl, I am doing the best I can not be THAT girl.

These are just thoughts, kinda how I feel.

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