Real and the Nigga

I'm a cyberwhore, I know that. I check up on friends I haven't spoken to in YEARS. I check up on friends I talk to everyday. There are so many ways to be connected to a person, a phone call's not always necessary. That being said, I was checking up on Martini (cyberstalking, let him tell it) when I came across his blog on Myspace and it made me outright laugh. Then it made me think as well. So, the point. Martini apparently received some email about REAL MEN & NIGGAS and it pissed him off, so he responded to every point made in the email on his blog. So I decided to give a female's perspective on the list (and yes, I am qualified to do so!). Martini's responses are in red, mine are in blue. Enjoy.


1.) A real nigga doesn't kiss & tell.
(bullSHIT. a nigga will tell his boys, their moms, YOUR mom - whoever will listen)
I'm wishy washy on this one. I know a lot of guys that don't kiss&tell, but I also know a lot of girly mouths. I'm gonna go with a big fat maybe on this one.

2.) A real nigga notices your hair & nails.
(wrong. a nigga notices your tits and ass)

Ehh', can't agree with my buddy on this one. A nigga doesn't notice anything.

3.) A real nigga calls you beautiful.. not hot, sexy, or fine as fuck.
(sorry! a nigga calls you a bitch - whether you fine or not)
I can co-sign this one 100%. If you really wanna get down to it, a nigga doesn't call you...period.

4.) A real nigga calls you on a daily basis no matter how busy or tired he is.
(If you gave it up the night you met that nigga..you'll never hear from him again.)
See response to response #3.

5.) A real nigga looks past what he's heard about you or what his friends think of you.
(NOPE. that's the whole reason why he got with your ass. He found out that you give good head.)
Maybe what he's heard about you, cuz he's got some dirt too. But his friends? They got him locked, so I might reconsider that one.

6.) A real nigga wants to spend as much time as he can with you, & won't get sick of you.
(nuh-uh. A nigga never spends time with you unless he knows he's gettin some that night)

WRONG! WRONG!! I think a nigga will hang out with his shorty, there just needs to be a balance. Truth be told, shorties get sick of their niggas every now and again and tell them to bounce, too.


7.) A real nigga doesn't care if you gave it up on the first, second, or third night.
(actually, you're right! he doesn't care - as long as he gets his, he don't give a fuck WHAT you do. You're only another notch on his belt.)
Okay, I CANNOT co-sign this one! I agree with the original statement and I agree with Martini's first line but the whole "notch on the belt" comment is wrong. Guys don't keep count. Some first-night bumps have turned into lasting relationships. Thing is, men love a woman that knows what they want. If it's sex, fine. If it's not, even better. Just don't give in night #1 then try to hold out so you can have meaningful talks and cuddling.

8.) A real nigga comes over, just to watch a movie.
(riiiiiiight. A nigga comes over to FUCK. He don't wanna watch "The Notebook" wit you)

Of COURSE he comes over just to watch a movie, he knows that's a "get head free" card he can redeem some time down the line. And let's be real, ladies, chances are you REALLY want him to come over to bang it out.

9.) A real nigga kisses you on the forehead just because.
(hahaha. A nigga makes you kiss him on his "head" just because.)
Yeah, this one's tough. A forehead kiss can be a lot of things. It could be just that, a kiss on the forehead. It could be a little something to get her tingly in that "spot" so she puts it on you later. It could be a soothing gesture. You just may not wanna kiss her on th mouth right then. When it comes to men, there rarely is a "just because."

10.) A real nigga doesn't tell you what he thinks you want to hear, he tells you what's real.
(A nigga will tell every lie in the book not to get caught. C'mon, look at the way he looks at your best friend. You don't think that nigga hit it?)
ABSOLUTELY NOT! I disagree with Martini 175%. Okay, lemme calm down. Yes, a NIGGA will lie to reach a certain end. He will tell you he loves you, he will tell you it might fall off without a release and yes, he will tell you the girl your friends saw him with was his cousin. That's niggas, so that part I agree with. But a real dude will be straight up with you if your relationship is going to prosper and grow. Regardless of what the consequences are.

11.) A real nigga should be treated like one....
(That's the first thing that made sense all day. Just like Chris Rock said: "I love Black People, but I hate niggas")

No, he shoould be treated like a man.

I think the issue here is perception. To many, "nigga" is an ignorant term. To others, it's just another word for saying "guy" or "dude" or "man." So I'm thinkin' the writer of the email was using the term to say "man." A "Real Man" is what she's talking about (and I say "she" cuz no dude's gonna take the time to write something like this, it's pretty gay...even if you are). So take out all the "niggas" and plug in word man and it just looks like Martini is angry and needs some lovin' in his life. He don't want my love cuz it's apparently not good enough, but we gotta get him a boo. As far as Martini's responses, he's basically right, but that's taking the word "nigga" literally. Niggas ain't right, on any level, and I co-sign everything he says. As far as the email itself, there are some good points in there, but she needs to realize life isn't that clean cut and the shades of gray are so wide, you've gotta strain your eyes to really see what's up. Either way, everyone's got a good point and we just need to use our words better. ALL OF US.