Filth Flarn Filth

So I was doing my usual internet browsing thing today and a funny thought struck: How's about I check out all the losers on craigslist posting their personals. It's something I do on occasion and it absolutely tickles me pink. Now I have a method of reading the personals, starting with platonic (people looking for "friends only" or one night dates (all of which they secretly hope end in sex)), casual (guys looking to have sex, no strings attached), men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men and finally, women seeking women. I rarely read all of them as they tend to all run together, but I usually do read the platonic, casual and men seeking women personals. Depending on the mood, of course. Back on topic. I was reading the men seeking women personals today when I came across the "ad" below:

Allow me to explain this in simple terms - 31

1) "Communication" typically involves written or spoken language. It is not reading your mind. You expect a man to know what you want when half the time even YOU don't know what you want.

2) Men are well aware of what "Chemistry" is in the female lexicon. It is the male banishment spell, as we have better things to do than hang around a irrational woman who's got Mr Dream Guy obsession issues.

3) If you're expecting Brad Pitt, you better look like Angelina Jolie.

4) I'm sorry that you girls don't like or enjoy sex but next to children it's the other big reason why a man will look for a long term relationship. Deny him sex and he will leave. Quit acting ignorant of this it just proves how stupid you are.

Now I don't disagree with what Angry Man here is saying, I'm just lost on what exactly his point is. I've got a theory, of course. I think he wrote the "ad" to be shocking and get females to write him back arguing so they could talk and build a rapport and possibly date. Whereas some guys use laughter and charm, some like to provoke. Either way, I'm sure he got a reaction or two, maybe even a couple of dates and/or rolls in the hay. But, I would like to address Angry Man myself in regards to his "simple terms."

1) "Communication" typically involves written or spoken language. It is not reading your mind. You expect a man to know what you want when half the time even YOU don't know what you want. - I agree with this to a certain extent, but men are at fault for this as well. They wait for the woman to tell them who or what to be. 'Cuz they wanna get the draws

2) Men are well aware of what "Chemistry" is in the female lexicon. It is the male banishment spell, as we have better things to do than hang around a irrational woman who's got Mr Dream Guy obsession issues. - This I can't agree with. Yes women have the image of what their "dream guy" looks like and has fantasies that he says just the right thing at just the right moment, but the truth is, we're not with them. We settle. So do you. You want a Halle Berry clone who lets you play poker with the guys, doesn't want to "talk" during the 4th quarter of the Duke-UConn game (*ahem* my picks for the finals) and sucks you off so you can go to sleep happy. But realistically, chances of that happening are slim to none. So we may have issues, but you do, too. And Ill tell you a secret: we give in and deal with a whole lot more than you do.

3) If you're expecting Brad Pitt, you better look like Angelina Jolie. - That's about the only thing he's got down pat. Looks are only on the surface, but you can't look like Biggie and expect to pull Eva Longoria, it's just not fair. I'm not saying it won't happen, I'm just saying it's not fair to have those expectations.

4) I'm sorry that you girls don't like or enjoy sex but next to children it's the other big reason why a man will look for a long term relationship. Deny him sex and he will leave. Quit acting ignorant of this it just proves how stupid you are. - First, women LOVE sex. I don't know what kind of prudes and/or bitches you have dealt with, but chicks want it more often and BETTER than men do. He did get it right about the withhholding, though, but that brings me back to my earlier verbage: prudes and/or bitches. Real women are just that - real.

So I don't know what this guy wanted, but I damn sure responded. If he wanted to vent about women, he shoulda called his best friend or somethin' and left it out of cyberspace. Conversely, if he DID want it out in cyberspace, he shoulda started a blog. My point is, a personal ad is not the forum to use to air your personal gripes with the opposite sex. Ladies, if you're looking for a real gem of a fellow to have what would appear to be a decent conversation, feel free to email him here. If you do email him and something good comes out of it, I most certainly would like to know, feel free to leave a comment. But please, don't be like this loser and leave a whole bunch of filth flarn filth.