I'm Sorry I Love You...I Need Help

I just wanna say something and I hope you're all not shocked by this revelation: I'm human. Not only am I human, I'm a woman. That means that, more often than not, I'm susceptible to what I call emotions. You know, emotions. The things that make us happy, sad, mad or just plain blah. We've all got 'em, it's just that men and women are affected by and react to them differently. Just because I feel like I'm a guy and am immune to reacting to my emotions, something happens to remind me that I am in fact, of the female persuasion. Meaning unsafe.

So something's happened to me over the past few months, something I've definitely been fighting for quite some time now. If you look at it, I kinda cut off my nose to spite my face. And I'm okay with that, cuz it TOTALLY fits into who I am. I want something, I sabotage myself, right on pace. So I liked a guy (maybe loved, but I'm not touching that one), screwed it up and now he thinks I'm psychotic. Now I get parts A and B, but part C's kinda lost on me. I know I'm not psychotic, cuz I'm going through the usual grieving when your crush falls through, but why are we now at the point that he feels he can say that? Reminiscing over the time, I don't think I did anything to warrant being called a psycho. I mean, I was compared to Brandi in A Thin Line Between Love and Hate and that bitch punched herself in the face just to get with a guy. That's a little extreme if you ask me. So why's he think I'm nuts? Cuz I REALLY think he does. And again, I can't see why. Then again, he may have been being facetious and I took it and ran with it, stressing myself out over something that's not tha serious further proving his point of what he feels is my psychotic nature. Either way, I'm moving on to the point of the blog.

According to a certain someone, the three hardest things for a person to say are "I'm sorry", "I love you", and "I need help." I immediately made a joke and said. "I'm sorry I love you, that's not hard to say," which I found hilarious (yeah, he didn't laugh, but I rarely tell a joke hoping the other person finds it amusing). But afterwards, I started thinking about it and in a way, the boy's right, I gotta respect that. Those are three of the hardest things a person can say, but put them together, so many meanings come about. The great thing about the English language is that emphasis and definition of a sentence can change with the addition (or removal) of a comma, period, semicolin, anything. Punctuation's great.

Below are a few examples:

1) I'm sorry I love you...I need help.

How's that translate to you? To someone that's in love with a person that just isn't treating them right but they can't turn away.

2) I'm sorry, I love you. I need help.

How about this one? Sounds like someone either milking their significant other or asking for help (insert drug/sex addiction or alcoholism here). Either that or they just can't stay away. THAT'S psychotic.

3) I'm sorry! I love you. I need help.

He cheated and is trying to make it seem like a disease (insert random Eric Benet joke here).

See how three things so hard to say separately seem to roll off the tongue together? It's really not that hard when you take a look at it. They say when you're worried about saying something, you give it power over you. Take that away from these 7 words and use them as freely as you'd like.

Now let's look at them separately:

I'm sorry

Okay, you screwed up, you know it, I know it, let's get over it and move on. Just make sure you mean it and it doesn't happen again. Don't let your pride get in the way and stop you from saying it, idiot.

I love you

This is a biggie. Cuz there are so many kinds of love. It's actually something that I had words with a couple of friends about a few weeks ago. Some feel these words should be reserved for wifey and hubby buh only, no room for friends. Some feel love is love and if that's how you feel, then ride with it. Clarifications were made, but I just chose to agree to disagree because if I love you, that's all there is to it. Now, as far as being in love, that's a different story. I think people get it twisted right there; they can't differentiate regular love (like a brother) and being in love (wifey/hubby buh). Either way, it's personal and you're just gonna have to deal with it when I tell you. I AM making an earnest effort to monitor my vocab with certain people, though.

I need help

Help's not hard to ask for, it's just a matter of swallowing your pride. Ask for help when you really need it but don't bank on the other person's assistance. Everyone has a life and can do but so much, so if today's not your day, don't swear them off. People help when they can and if it looks like you've got it, they won't bother to ask if you actually do. So if you need help, get over yourself and ask. It's not a sign of weakness, so hang that theory up.

So there you have it, the three hardest things a person can say, together or separately and I'm sure we've ALL been in situations where these words have come up. Just remember these words and maybe you'll be able to use them correctly. I love my family and I love my friends. If that makes you uncomfortable or you too think I'm psychotic, all I can say is I'm sorry I love you...Guess I need help! :-D