What's the Hitch
So I was watching Hitch the other night when a strange thought struck me. For those of you that don't know, Hitch is basically a cyrano-esque movie where this Romeo/Casanova helps hopeless duds get the women of their dreams. A few strategically placed items, smart ideas and a kiss is all that's needed to make these goddesses fall in love with the losers. "Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom." Good movie, I've enjoyed it before, which is why something in it has made me decide to blog it.
I was watching the movie and it made me angry. It just rubbed me the wrong way. Not even Will Smith's flyness was enough to distract me. I told my friend he reminded me of Hitch after I saw the scene where he pulls a beautiful woman (who I didn't think was all that, her veneers were VERY obvious, but that's neither here nor there) away from a crowd of men by handing her money and giving her a drink order like she was a waitress. She of course got upset and followed him. One can only draw the conclusion that he took her home and did the nasty, which is cool, kudos to him. I can see that, my friend's pretty smooth and he totally took credit for being able to do it (something I ABSOLUTELY expected) and saying he's done it before. Then I made the off-hand comment about wanting to see him in his element, how he kicked it to a girl. He told me to watch the movie and it was all right there (he kinda sweats Will Smith, so I again was NOT surprised).
So I watched the movie, fully knowing what was gonna happen when BAM! I got ANNOYED. He takes this girl out on a date to Ellis Island (on jet skis, which disturbed me to no end, that whole fear of water thing) and there's a part where he shows her the log of the ship her grandfather (or whatever) came in on. It seems like an emotional scene, but shorty spazzes out, so it kind of backfires. I'm thinking he wanted it to be deep and touching, but she lost it. I thought it was funny, but moving on. I called my friend back and told him I took back my Hitch comment cuz he was manipulative and I didn't want to think of him that way. Now why?
To me, love is something that just happens, not something orchestrated from jump. I mean, nice gestures is one thing if they're truly sincere, but to be a part of a master plan is not cool. I don't know, it just didn't sit right with me. ("One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once. ") You can't "make" anyone fall in love with you. All those books on how to get a man and how to make that guy who won't even look your way become your next husband are bullshit. There's no spell or smell or script to a love affair. I hate to break it to you, but that's just not the case. So I was sharing these thoughts with my buddy when he said Prince Charming hadn't some in on his Swiffer yet. I told him I didn't believe in Prince Charming. Not in this day and age, at least. And I wasn't upset, I was just making conversation. And he called me bitter. When I asked him to explain, he didn't bother, making me upset (which he knew it would). I mean, that's cool, it's his opinion, but I really would've liked him to explain further cuz I feel like 8 times out of 10 I'm misunderstood. I wasn't being bitter, I'm NOT bitter, I was just sharing my thoughts on a situation.
Now, do I believe in love? Absolutely. Do I hope to one day find love? You bet your sweet ass. Have I been in love before? 3 times I can count. To quote Carrie from "Sex and the City":
"I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."
And that's the truth. Romance is not love, it's an aphrodisiac. Love is ugly, it's beautiful, it's painful, it's pleasure. It's when you're arguing over whether or not the previews are important enough to be on time to the movies to deciding to stay in, rent videos and spoon. I'm a romantic, contrary to popular belief, but I'm also a realist. Do I think I'm gonna meet that guy who's gonna take me as I am and I do the same? Not in my 20s. Do I want to? Absolutely. I go to sleep at night with dreams all about love. That guy who says the EXACT right thing at the EXACT right moment, regardless of how you're acting, just enough to shut you up. See, I like things to be all or nothing, it's a bad habit I've got. I want communication, friendship and celebration of differences. I want to be able to read my king when it counts and let him do him. I don't have to be up under you, but I refuse to be on the outskirts. I don't need roses delivered to my job to know you love me, but a call to say "hey, I was thinkin' about ya, love you, miss you, bye" is fine. I'm not into the tangible aspects of love cuz you know what? When you break up, guess what gets tossed in the garbage? There is NO residue from my past relationships (except for the handcuffs I invested in...and maybe some Motion Lotion) anywhere near me.
I don't know, maybe it's just not a formula for success and I'm lookin' for something that doesn't exist, but I'm pretty patient and am willing to wait. My point is, I just want to fall in love, not be a pawn in some dude's scheme to conquer whatever woman he sees fit. If you're gonna do something, make sure it's from the heart, not some stupid trick you saw in a flick. I'm not saying doing those things aren't nice, but be sure the motive behind it is to see that special smile and creating the memory of something only the two of you can share. Do right and don't leave room for homegirl to ask "so what's the hitch?"
I was watching the movie and it made me angry. It just rubbed me the wrong way. Not even Will Smith's flyness was enough to distract me. I told my friend he reminded me of Hitch after I saw the scene where he pulls a beautiful woman (who I didn't think was all that, her veneers were VERY obvious, but that's neither here nor there) away from a crowd of men by handing her money and giving her a drink order like she was a waitress. She of course got upset and followed him. One can only draw the conclusion that he took her home and did the nasty, which is cool, kudos to him. I can see that, my friend's pretty smooth and he totally took credit for being able to do it (something I ABSOLUTELY expected) and saying he's done it before. Then I made the off-hand comment about wanting to see him in his element, how he kicked it to a girl. He told me to watch the movie and it was all right there (he kinda sweats Will Smith, so I again was NOT surprised).
So I watched the movie, fully knowing what was gonna happen when BAM! I got ANNOYED. He takes this girl out on a date to Ellis Island (on jet skis, which disturbed me to no end, that whole fear of water thing) and there's a part where he shows her the log of the ship her grandfather (or whatever) came in on. It seems like an emotional scene, but shorty spazzes out, so it kind of backfires. I'm thinking he wanted it to be deep and touching, but she lost it. I thought it was funny, but moving on. I called my friend back and told him I took back my Hitch comment cuz he was manipulative and I didn't want to think of him that way. Now why?
To me, love is something that just happens, not something orchestrated from jump. I mean, nice gestures is one thing if they're truly sincere, but to be a part of a master plan is not cool. I don't know, it just didn't sit right with me. ("One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once. ") You can't "make" anyone fall in love with you. All those books on how to get a man and how to make that guy who won't even look your way become your next husband are bullshit. There's no spell or smell or script to a love affair. I hate to break it to you, but that's just not the case. So I was sharing these thoughts with my buddy when he said Prince Charming hadn't some in on his Swiffer yet. I told him I didn't believe in Prince Charming. Not in this day and age, at least. And I wasn't upset, I was just making conversation. And he called me bitter. When I asked him to explain, he didn't bother, making me upset (which he knew it would). I mean, that's cool, it's his opinion, but I really would've liked him to explain further cuz I feel like 8 times out of 10 I'm misunderstood. I wasn't being bitter, I'm NOT bitter, I was just sharing my thoughts on a situation.
Now, do I believe in love? Absolutely. Do I hope to one day find love? You bet your sweet ass. Have I been in love before? 3 times I can count. To quote Carrie from "Sex and the City":
"I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."
And that's the truth. Romance is not love, it's an aphrodisiac. Love is ugly, it's beautiful, it's painful, it's pleasure. It's when you're arguing over whether or not the previews are important enough to be on time to the movies to deciding to stay in, rent videos and spoon. I'm a romantic, contrary to popular belief, but I'm also a realist. Do I think I'm gonna meet that guy who's gonna take me as I am and I do the same? Not in my 20s. Do I want to? Absolutely. I go to sleep at night with dreams all about love. That guy who says the EXACT right thing at the EXACT right moment, regardless of how you're acting, just enough to shut you up. See, I like things to be all or nothing, it's a bad habit I've got. I want communication, friendship and celebration of differences. I want to be able to read my king when it counts and let him do him. I don't have to be up under you, but I refuse to be on the outskirts. I don't need roses delivered to my job to know you love me, but a call to say "hey, I was thinkin' about ya, love you, miss you, bye" is fine. I'm not into the tangible aspects of love cuz you know what? When you break up, guess what gets tossed in the garbage? There is NO residue from my past relationships (except for the handcuffs I invested in...and maybe some Motion Lotion) anywhere near me.
I don't know, maybe it's just not a formula for success and I'm lookin' for something that doesn't exist, but I'm pretty patient and am willing to wait. My point is, I just want to fall in love, not be a pawn in some dude's scheme to conquer whatever woman he sees fit. If you're gonna do something, make sure it's from the heart, not some stupid trick you saw in a flick. I'm not saying doing those things aren't nice, but be sure the motive behind it is to see that special smile and creating the memory of something only the two of you can share. Do right and don't leave room for homegirl to ask "so what's the hitch?"
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