Risk Management

Let me start today's blog by saying: GO GIANTS!! I'm not a fan of them, but Dan told me to blog about them and he's the only man on Earth I listen to without question. Now that that's done, moving on.

Ever notice a couple that, in your opinion, is completely mismatched? He may be short, she may be tall; he may be thin, she may be larger; he black, she white or vice versa? Ever look at those couples and wonder how they can appear so happy when it seems like odds are against them? Well, I do. I see couples like that and applaud them for taking a chance on each other. Once the initial stab of envy over the fact that they're even a couple subsides, of course.

If you listen to the classic love songs, usually there's a give and take that brought the lovebirds to the point of serenading one another. Words like "until you", "change my life" and "no one else" are usually staples in those songs and they're meant to convey the message that things were different before the love of their life showed up. Maybe they were cheaters, maybe they played games, maybe they just didn't know how to love. Whatever the case, this person has somehow made the songwriter's days brighter by just existing.

Point is, there's usually an unusual circumstance that brings the couple together. Compromise, sacrifice or an all out change is needed. By nature, humans are creatures of habit. Sure, we like to swtich things up a bit, but if you look at the fundamentals, things are pretty much the same. So when we encounter something new, we either try to ignore it, change it or conform to it. The latter is the rarest of cases.

All this is to talk about SCS. What is SCS, you ask? It's "Seth Cohen Syndrome," when a young lady is attracted to a geeky, whitey McWhite guy that she thinks deep down is cool, loving and hilarious, Star Wars obsession aside. I've been suffering from SCS for the past 3 weeks now, every guy I've been attracted to has been super white and super different and just impossible to see anything coming out of it. Usually I talk myself out of it before any crush can develop so my heart's shielded and rejection doesn't hurt because I "already knew" how things would turn out.

I was doing that today with my latest crush, one Greg Dekker, a DJ at another station on the same floor as the station I intern at, when I thought about the whole "it's gotta be hard to be worthwhile" scenario. In most situations or crushes, I'm the one making moves to make things happen. I call, I e-mail, I IM. I'm all about getting to know people becuase when it comes to love, I like to live by the credo "ya never know." Love's such a fickle thing, you never know when you're going to get shot with Cupid's arrow, so you've got to be open to all possibilities, that's just how I roll.

But not everybody thinks like me, people don't like to take risks. They go for what they know, what they're used to, what makes them comfortable. Why choose the Pakistani girl that really gets you when you can be with Waspy McWasp (I LOVE Seth Cohen) and not be faced with a million questions? People don't like to justify themselves to anyone, it goes against their sense of independence. But people also don't like to be questioned or judged so they take the easy road when it comes to certain things. Like relationships. People nowadays simply look at the people around them and place them in one of three categories: friends, friends with benefits and significant others.

I've always talked about how different I am and how I don't fit into any category and it's turning out to be a curse. White guys are scared of me cuz I'm black and black guys hate me cuz they think I'm "acting" white. Granted it may be my choice in whom I decide to deal with, but guys barely get past category 2. So why do I think Dekker and I won't work? I'm glad you asked. A) Work schedules are too conflicting. By the time he gets off work, I'm sleep. By the time I get off work, he's GOING to work; 2) He's more rock indy, I'm poppy hip hop; and D) He may not want to take a risk on me. All of the above undoubtedly makes me more attracted to him than I are to admit. I'm not throwing in the towel, I'm just keeping it around my shoulders just in case.

People go through these things all the time and come out of it with great stories and lasting love, so we'll just have to wait and see. Everyone protects their heart, why should I be any different? If you think about it, everyday, everyone runs the same kind of risk management.