OH BEHAVE
I think I did a bad thing this morning. And yes, it is only 6:57am. Even I can f things up before the sun rises.
I've been thinking about Jeff for the past few days, so much so that I was losing sleep. So I texted him. If you know me, you know my phone broke and I lost all my numbers. I only remember 10, and he was one of them. That means something, because I have over 350 ACTUAL contacts in my phone.
The text wasn't too involved, just a "hope all is well" kind of deal. No sweeping declarations of love, no apologies about being a bad friend, nothing. Just "what's up."
Then it got a little more involved and I ended up hitting on him. Which brings me to this conclusion: I'm going to sleep with the love of my life. And yes, that means Jeff. True to full Ross and Rachel form, we've done the "will they, won't they" thing, the "we tried, but it didn't work out" thing and the "date other people" thing. I'm ready for the "let's just sleep together" thing.
Why just that, you ask? Because, though I'd love to marry the man, I don't know if we're in that "let's try again" place. For one, Jeff has a girlfriend to deal with. We all know they won't work out, but it's totally arrogant of me to believe he'll just leave her and come to me cuz I am who I am. Jeff and I still have some things to work out, but I'm too backed up to deal with them right now. So first, immediate gratification, then I'll act like a mature adult.
More than anything, I really want our friendship to sustain. Not the awkward semi-annual phone calls with empty promises to keep in better touch, but a live-action friendship. If it ends up being me, then great; if he ends up with what's her name (no really, I NEVER remember her name), so be it.
I'll wait for whatever may come, though I can't shake visions of sitting in my SoHo apartment with a pregnant mutual friend discussing what could have been, teetering on whether or not to hop a plane...
I've been thinking about Jeff for the past few days, so much so that I was losing sleep. So I texted him. If you know me, you know my phone broke and I lost all my numbers. I only remember 10, and he was one of them. That means something, because I have over 350 ACTUAL contacts in my phone.
The text wasn't too involved, just a "hope all is well" kind of deal. No sweeping declarations of love, no apologies about being a bad friend, nothing. Just "what's up."
Then it got a little more involved and I ended up hitting on him. Which brings me to this conclusion: I'm going to sleep with the love of my life. And yes, that means Jeff. True to full Ross and Rachel form, we've done the "will they, won't they" thing, the "we tried, but it didn't work out" thing and the "date other people" thing. I'm ready for the "let's just sleep together" thing.
Why just that, you ask? Because, though I'd love to marry the man, I don't know if we're in that "let's try again" place. For one, Jeff has a girlfriend to deal with. We all know they won't work out, but it's totally arrogant of me to believe he'll just leave her and come to me cuz I am who I am. Jeff and I still have some things to work out, but I'm too backed up to deal with them right now. So first, immediate gratification, then I'll act like a mature adult.
More than anything, I really want our friendship to sustain. Not the awkward semi-annual phone calls with empty promises to keep in better touch, but a live-action friendship. If it ends up being me, then great; if he ends up with what's her name (no really, I NEVER remember her name), so be it.
I'll wait for whatever may come, though I can't shake visions of sitting in my SoHo apartment with a pregnant mutual friend discussing what could have been, teetering on whether or not to hop a plane...
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