I Found You..

Booty booty booty booty, rockin' everywhere!

My JAM!! Not only do I UNSHAMEFULLY love this song, I aspire to attain the title of Ms. New Booty. I can be found everyday in a mirror of choice in my room, dropping it like it's hot. And again, I love it. But song is indicative of a movement; one I'm not prepared or ALLOWED to be a part of. Why, you ask? I'll tell you.

I have no behind. I mean seriously, NONE. Any semblance of one is to be credited to phenomenal fashion sense and the creation of spandex. Boobies I've got locked and they were once all I needed to get by in life. Guys of all races and backrgrounds loved me for 'em. Then they fell deeper in love when they realized I had a brain behind all this beauty. Now, not so much. I mean they still fall in love but my lack of a derriere has been causing me some MAJOR problems. Don't get me wrong, I pop, drop and tick it with the best of 'em, but since there's no real booty to be clapping, I look like a fake.

It kinda pisses me off, too. I feel like a light skinned dude back in 2000, when they were not popular AT ALL. Here's the thing: I used to have a booty. A BIG booty. But I was 75 pounds heavier, too. Since my massive weight loss, I must admit that my body is reshaping itself here and there. I have hips when I once didn't have hips, abs where there was just blubber and my boobies have decided to go into hiding. I know the answer to getting the shape I want, it's exercise. But I'm TIRED of the gym, man. I know how to get my booty where I need it to be and my boobs to the right proportion, it's just a lot of work (and I asked Jeff and sex isn't the way to lose weight, who the hell had me convinced of THAT!?!).

My body changing shape is nothing new to me, but the aggravation hasn't lessened a bit. When I was in 6th grade, I was taking collection for a breast reduction, being the most developed young lady in my class, then my boobies disappeared. When I was in college and on birth control, my breasts grew out of control. Then my whole body followed with weight gain. Yeah I was bumpin' on the regular but 2 minutes of exercise doesn't do much when you've been eating all day. Then I got off the birth control and dropped a lot of weight, but didn't have much of a shape. I lived up 4 flights of stairs, though, and you coulda bounce a QUARTER off my behind!! I loved that phase. Then my mom passed and I moved home. I was depressed and arguing with my best friend, so all I did was eat, sleep and sit at a desk all day. I packed on a HEALTHY 50 pounds and was NOT cute. Then I moved out to good ol' ATL, where life has been wondrous. Now I'm (happily) down to a comfortable 12 and aiming to lose more. I've got a cute little shape goin' on and am kind of a shorty (if I must say so myself).

Now on to the booty, I know I've gotta suck it up and go to the gym (for real, not the shenanigans I've been pulling) or work out a regimen where I'm doing activities that don't remind me of exercise. Y'know like tennis, swimming, volleyball, running (ahem, sex), the fun things. I'll keep everyone updated on my progress, don't worry, so you can look for me in the middle of the dance floor as soon as the words "I found you" come on!!

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