All a-claddagh...
Back from Alabama, lovin' bein' home. I had a wonderful holiday weekend and I hope everyone else did, too. I relaxed, watched some movies and just hung out with my beautiful cousin Raechelle and my brother.
I was tossing and turning in bed, and I just had to get these thoughts out of my head, save I go a little crazy. I'm trying to plan a trip to Miami in August with my homegirls (Wendy, Daph and Cort!), so feel free to look us up. We're planning on getting a HOT hotel room (aimin' for the penthouse) down on South Beach August 18-22. Fun in the sun, and I'm gonna ACT UP!!
So, I think I'm over my crush on Corey. Well, not really, but I'm not to let myself get hurt, which I can totally see on the horizon. Because of my brother. Or maybe not, who knows. I'm sure it could be something else and I'm not gonna leave myself open for that kind of upset. So, like Martini says, I'm "ripping the band-aid off with one motion." Do I like Corey? Yeah, I do. I mean, I LIKE him. And I haven't actually liked a guy in like, forever. But, I'm okay with just being friends, cuz I don't think anything else will come out of it. And I mean real friends, not "oh, we'll hang out and talk all the and have fun and maybe it'll become something more," I don't do that. So that's that, crush over.
This isn't out of left field, either, Corey and I had a conversation tonight that just rubbed me the WRONG way. It's funny, he actually started with one of my own lines, "I don't know if I dreamed this or if it really happened..." I guess it was just his way of gauging my reaction, cuz I do that ALL the time. He told me he dreamed (get this) that he called my brother and said he wanted to make sure Chris knew that he wasn't trying to get with me because he knew how he felt about it. Little does Corey know, my brother could care less, either way. But anyway, I took it as his way of trying to let me know how he really felt. And that's cool, but it threw me for a tiny loop cuz Corey's usually up front about things. So after he said that, the conversation just kept going on like normal. I turned over to go to sleep, but it was iggin' me so bad, I was tossin' and turnin' and I had to get it out of my head. Hence the blog.
So, it's not that nothing's gonna happen with Corey, it's the fact that it bothers me so much, I think. Cuz it does. I mean, my first reaction was to wild out on him, then I was hurt, which leads me to believe I really did like the boy, there's no other explanation for it. Then I just sucked it up and kept it movin', cuz I HATE not being able to explain things. I think it's just the "what if" factor that I just gotta get over. I don't know, I'm a weirdo, I guess. But I can guaran-damn-tee you, it's gonna be a LONG time before I talked about crushing on a guy. I'm dunzo.
I think I'm done with the whole "scene" overall. I'm just gonna be happy with my friends and my family and call it a day. If there's someone out there for me, he'll have to do whatever it takes to get me to get over myself, cuz this open book is closing shut.
Wow, I feel better now. Writing's great therapy. Anyway, moving on.
I was watching Ladder 49 this weekend (I LOVE Joaquin Phoenix, all day, everyday) and I rediscovered my love for the Irish claddagh ring, The one with the two hands holding the heart with a crown on top. You wear it upside down when you're "free" and right side up (pointing to your heart) when your heart belongs to another. I always loved those rings and I think I even owned one at one time, but I either gave it back or flat out lost it. I'm famous for losing jewelry, alway been a bad habit. But yeah, I plan on getting myself a new one, either in gold or silver. Maybe with my birthstone, too. Nice ring, good symbolism.
So that's all I got, I'm headed to bed now. All thoughts (well, most) are gone now, I think I can sleep in peace.
I was tossing and turning in bed, and I just had to get these thoughts out of my head, save I go a little crazy. I'm trying to plan a trip to Miami in August with my homegirls (Wendy, Daph and Cort!), so feel free to look us up. We're planning on getting a HOT hotel room (aimin' for the penthouse) down on South Beach August 18-22. Fun in the sun, and I'm gonna ACT UP!!
So, I think I'm over my crush on Corey. Well, not really, but I'm not to let myself get hurt, which I can totally see on the horizon. Because of my brother. Or maybe not, who knows. I'm sure it could be something else and I'm not gonna leave myself open for that kind of upset. So, like Martini says, I'm "ripping the band-aid off with one motion." Do I like Corey? Yeah, I do. I mean, I LIKE him. And I haven't actually liked a guy in like, forever. But, I'm okay with just being friends, cuz I don't think anything else will come out of it. And I mean real friends, not "oh, we'll hang out and talk all the and have fun and maybe it'll become something more," I don't do that. So that's that, crush over.
This isn't out of left field, either, Corey and I had a conversation tonight that just rubbed me the WRONG way. It's funny, he actually started with one of my own lines, "I don't know if I dreamed this or if it really happened..." I guess it was just his way of gauging my reaction, cuz I do that ALL the time. He told me he dreamed (get this) that he called my brother and said he wanted to make sure Chris knew that he wasn't trying to get with me because he knew how he felt about it. Little does Corey know, my brother could care less, either way. But anyway, I took it as his way of trying to let me know how he really felt. And that's cool, but it threw me for a tiny loop cuz Corey's usually up front about things. So after he said that, the conversation just kept going on like normal. I turned over to go to sleep, but it was iggin' me so bad, I was tossin' and turnin' and I had to get it out of my head. Hence the blog.
So, it's not that nothing's gonna happen with Corey, it's the fact that it bothers me so much, I think. Cuz it does. I mean, my first reaction was to wild out on him, then I was hurt, which leads me to believe I really did like the boy, there's no other explanation for it. Then I just sucked it up and kept it movin', cuz I HATE not being able to explain things. I think it's just the "what if" factor that I just gotta get over. I don't know, I'm a weirdo, I guess. But I can guaran-damn-tee you, it's gonna be a LONG time before I talked about crushing on a guy. I'm dunzo.
I think I'm done with the whole "scene" overall. I'm just gonna be happy with my friends and my family and call it a day. If there's someone out there for me, he'll have to do whatever it takes to get me to get over myself, cuz this open book is closing shut.
Wow, I feel better now. Writing's great therapy. Anyway, moving on.
I was watching Ladder 49 this weekend (I LOVE Joaquin Phoenix, all day, everyday) and I rediscovered my love for the Irish claddagh ring, The one with the two hands holding the heart with a crown on top. You wear it upside down when you're "free" and right side up (pointing to your heart) when your heart belongs to another. I always loved those rings and I think I even owned one at one time, but I either gave it back or flat out lost it. I'm famous for losing jewelry, alway been a bad habit. But yeah, I plan on getting myself a new one, either in gold or silver. Maybe with my birthstone, too. Nice ring, good symbolism.
So that's all I got, I'm headed to bed now. All thoughts (well, most) are gone now, I think I can sleep in peace.
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