The Connection of Silence

Before I start today's blog, I have a few announcements to make:

First, I've been blessed with the opportunity to for a local radio station out here, All The Hits Q100. It's not something I've advertised because I honestly want to keep it under wraps until I'm a little more established there. I'm the newbie and the last thing I wanna do is tell the world something that may not last long. I haven't even told my dad (which I'm sure he's PISSED about). It's cuz I think my boss hates me, but that's all right, a lot of people hate me. We're both Sagittarians so that could be a factor. Or it could be attraction, who knows. I just know that sometimes he won't even look at or address me which in turn makes me snarky and distant. I know, I think way too much sometimes, but it makes me a worthwhile intern. So you can check us out online and drop your thoughts here to be passed on to the big guy.

Second, Suburban Underground is picking up again and we should start shooting soon. Maybe this time around we'll actually get to see ad use our work. Still no idea where all my pictures went...Thanks, Brian. I'll keep you updated, of course.

Last, and certainly least, I've got a 'Space. It's not something I'm proud of, my boss made me do it. That doesn't mean my column or this trusty blog will suffer. It's actually gonna be fun cuz I plan to lead a double life online. My blog will be like my boyfriend, my boo, the one I come home to and I'll just play around with the Myspace like a J-O (jump off). Like the Dawson said in The Rules of Attraction, "Just cuz I f*ck other people doesn't mean I'm not faithful to you." Jacked up line, but painfully true. Sometimes, there are things that the resident boo won't do, in this case, it's allow me to link or post songs. And The Myspace lets me.

Anyway, the first and last announcements are what bring me to the point of today's blog. I was at the station, feeling unloved, tired and ready to call it a day. In walks Scooter B. Who is Scooter B, you ask? Some big dog that knows Ludacris. He was coming to invite Adam (the boss) (and company?) to some NOPI Car Show this weekend to hang out backstage with Luda and the crew. Scooter was talking to Adam, Wendy was talking to Chris and I was being a partial member to all events around me. Then Scooter started talking to Wendy and Chris while I answered the phone (FYI, I just answered my work phone with "All The Hits Q100"...Seriously).

Anyway, I had no idea what they were talking about when suddenly Scooter said, "You know who my favorite person in the room is?" and pointed at me. Caught in headlights, I looked around and asked, "What'd I do?" Scooter then proceeded to point out that I was quiet and didn't say a word so we had a silent connection (and that I should hit him up on the Myspace) (on a side note, had it been two days earlier, I coulda told him that I didn't have a 'Space, making for good conversation but alas, I do...and I'm now ashamed). He came over and hugged me (without permission, by the way) a couple of times and just...didn't stop looking at me. Which in turn made me unable to look at him.

So here's the point: I went home and sent him a message on the Myspace. Cuz I couldn't stop thinking about him. Then I thought that that was JUST what the douchebag wanted. I fed right into him and his ego by sending that message and I'm just mad at myself for such a girly f'n move. He projected his attraction right on me and I fell for it hook line and sinker. He wanted to leave the station knowing that he'd won over everyone in the room and I handed a coochie coupon right over.

F that. F my boss for making me feel nonexistent last night, F my real job for being so boring, F the Myspace for even existing, F myself for being remotely excited about my 'Space, F my wedding date for backing out, F Scooter B and his projection (he probably gets burn from so many models, why did I even think I had a chance?) (and I'm STILL thinking about him...obviously...I hate myself).

Damn the connection of silence.