"JustTrina"

You know, I've been looking for an outlet to deal with all these emotions when I remembered my blog. Actually, I never forgot about it, I just tried coping on my own. Then I had the epiphany that led me to write again: If I died, no one would care. This isn't some "woe is me" kind of blog, it's a matter-of-fact realization that I am about to back up with facts. Maybe stating no one would care seems a little extreme, but it is what it is. Yes, my father would be sad and of COURSE my brother would be devastated. So maybe I retract and state that none of my friends would care. I'm the person that does everything for everyone, so admittedly my absence might be felt. It's just that they wouldn't MISS me.  It would be something like "this is normally something JustTrina handles. Oh well, I'll just do it myself." The world would continue to spin, the sun continue to rise. The problem is that I handle everything for everyone and no one does...

It's been a while since I've written and I think it's time for a return. I tried using normal, human outlets to air my frustrations, desires, and shortcomings; they did not work. Apparently I'm more comfortable posting my life with the possibility of public consumption than dealing in real life. Yet I'm terrible at social media, go figure. Anyways, today's post is about beauty, something I write about more oft than not. This does not mean that I'll be blogging every day nor does it mean that I will NOT be blogging daily. Bottom line: I just don't know. On with it, though. Let me start by stating that while I may have some improvements to make, I'm pretty much happy with who I am. The issue I'm having is getting that to translate to the ones I find attractive. How so? I'll explain. Like the proverbial "little girl" in the Jimmy Eat World song, I'm in the middle. Of everything. I'm not fat, not skinny. Not ugly, not beaut...

Okay, so it's been forever since I've POSTED, sorry. I've written -- just haven't posted. Which means I've really just vented then hit delete. But I'm here; I've got a plan. This isn't a fun plan, but a plan nonetheless. I think I'm posting about it because it makes me accountable, which is something I need, apparently. So, the idea: I'm starting the Dukan Diet TOMORROW. I say tomorrow because it was supposed to be today, but SOMEone (this guy) was wholly unprepared. So it starts tomorrow, where I will post all my stats, progress, feelings, etc. Stay tuned, folks....It's gonna be pretty epic.

Last night I had a Tron party. This party was fantastic and not at all what I'm gonna write about, I just wanted to keep you informed. Anyways, the discussion of romantic comedies came up because my dear friend Alena is all about them when I am not. Why, may you ask? Of COURSE you may!! It's not that I hate or am not into romantic love, I totally am. It's just the ideas I come up with in my brain beat anything that's on the big screen. I LOVE love...I just think the way the journey is portrayed is over-rated. Your typcial storyline: Boy meets girl, likes girl, chases girl and wins. Or vice versa. Someone fights the feeling, decides they're better off as friends then spends about 45 out of 80 minutes crossing the globe/country to find the other and a) take them from their current love, 2) put it all on the line and ask them to take a chance or d) stand in the rain and finally let all the feelings go and move in for a long awaited/anticipated kiss. Fast forward 1 year...

When you meet someone, you want them to think you are the best "you" that you can be, right? Somehow I missed that memo. I think it's because I've come so far in life that I just.don't.care. And I'm not allowed to do that, I know, but it is just SUCH a hard habit to break. We went on a trip to Miami and met a bunch of cool people this past weekend and I can honestly say I felt like they just TOLERATED me. Which, for me, is SUPER weird. I'm the awesome person in the group and I think my new social circle doesn't get that. While not fake, they are also not very...real. Make sense? Thought not. Like, instead of taking the good, bad and ugly, the people I am around tend to just deal in sunshine and roses, something I was NEVER able to do. That's not what my dad raised me to look at. And maybe this weird turn in my life where I am trying to develop "real life" friendships is just wrong. I just can't be fake. If I don't like you, I am p...

The name Jacob has often been a problem for me. We've got Taylor Lautner, the 16-yr-old that plays a HOT guy named Jacob, my friend's handsome son is named Jacob and now, enter my co-worker Jacob...Not much can be said about him--except the fact that he is my WEAKNESS. Let me explain. Jacob is a 6'4" HOMEGROWN HUNK of man. Soft brown eyes, cute, slightly thinning hair. He's like Matt Damon but hotter and I LOVE Matt Damon. He's a true mix between George O'Malley of Grey's Anatomy fame and Jason Bourne. Just FLY. Like, no eye contact fly. When I first saw Jacob, I purposely ignored him because I could tell it was going to be a problem. Then we had to have dinner a few weeks ago and my life has been ruined ever since. You know how I always say let the fantasy be a fantasy? So is not the case with Jacob. Despite my concerted efforts, I had to sit with the object of my affection and through conversation and longing glances, I have fallen in love. Like Malco...

In answer to Friday's blog I guess I thought I needed to drink. And drink I did, my friends. At the (mediocre) Maxwell concert, I drank a beer. Before that, I drank vanilla vodka and sprite at Alena's house. After the show, we went to my friend Bianca's house to partake in more beverages. Long story short, I got D-RUNK. Like, 2007 office party drunk. I was in a place I hadn't been i quite a while--and it felt GREAT. The minute I realized I was drunk, I stopped drinking because I knew where it would lead me. I was VERY close to the ugly place, trust me, friends. My filter was gone, leaving me to ruin everyone's life under the guise of being helpful. I did get a friend to finally man up and get a girl's number; I'm a fixer, what can I say. I also woke a one of Bianca's brothers up out of his sleep to say good night and told the other not to touch me because he "didn't know my situation." Issues, I know. So I was a drunkard and have a lot of a...