Coffee, Anyone?

I just spent a glorious day with my brother, just hangin' out watchin' DVDs and bondin'. It was awesome, just what I needed to get over the argument I had with my dad (may or may not blog later, still decidin'). We have cycles where we sweat each other more than usual and today was one of those days.

Anyway, we were watchin' Booty Call and I was on the phone with Wendy and we started talking about how she always has a summer boo. I was giving her the rundown on who I thought was gonna get married. I said it was gonna be our friend Fabiola, herself and then my brother. So Chris asked me if I really thought he was gonna get married before me, to which I gave him a very emphatic "hell yes." And it's not that I'm knocking myself, I just know me and the level of difficulty I'm working with on letting people in. A guy can barely get me to be nice to him, much less decide I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And it's not all me, either, cuz I know this mouth makes it hard for anyone to actually WANT to deal with.

So my brother comes out and asks me when I'm gonna have someone in my life, when I'm gonna find a man. To which I told him I wasn't concerned. Um, I survived 16 years of my life without a boyfriend and was fine being alone when I was in between boyfriends. I'm not saying I don't have moments when I want to be with a man, to feel those feelings I once cherished, but I eat some chocolate cake and get the hell over it.

I mean, I think that at this age, the whole dating scene is both pointless but also a necessity. My brother told me that I was at the point where whoever I decided to date I needed to start looking at them as the person I may very well spend the rest of my life with. I think that that is a crock of bullshit, but I had to look at the source. My brother falls in love every week and every relationship he has, he thinks it's "the one." I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, I'll admit. Hell, I think it's pretty damn miraculous if I call you the day after the date. I'm sure it's cuz I haven't met that guy, but I ain't lookin' for his ass, either, cuz we all know my point of view when it comes to men. They all try to get over (well, I don't doubt SOME are truly and sincerely looking for that one, but 95% from 18-31, ain't) and are only on the quest for the draws. So, "this goes out to my Brooklyn crew, put ya hands up in the air if ya feel me. Fuck 'em all day, fuck 'em all night, we don't love these hos."

It's funny, cuz Vince Vaughn has this rant in "Wedding Crashers" (which I saw twice this weekend, AWESOME flick!) that I TOTALLY related to. And it goes:

I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

THE funniest rant EVER!! Sums things up so perfectly...

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not as man hating or scared of intimacy as I sound, I hope to find love one day as well. But real, true love. The guy that knows that when I decide he's not #1 on my list, it's really only for a few hours and when it boils down to it, I'll be down for him for whatever. A guy that can take my words with a grain of salt and give me a bouquet of sunflowers cuz he knows it'll shut me up. A guy who can absolutely shut me down but knows just how far to take it. I'd like to be the one that gets catered to as opposed to being the one doing all the catering (not even a play on words cuz I cook...actually, maybe it is). I want the buddy and the booty, the sweet whispers (for the chills) as well as the verbal sparring (for the thrills), that's what I'm lookin' for.

I haven't met that guy yet and I'm sure I won't for quite some time. But all is not lost, cuz I still have that hope. Once that's gone, then worry about me. So until then, it's the mindless match ups by friends who really don't know you and spout "I've got the perfect guy/girl for you" and the "hey, wanna get together for coffee?"'s from the guy/girl you happened to run into on the elevator everyday in your office building. I wish there was a grand formula for this whole dating thing. If I had the recipe for success, I wouldn't be blogging any of this, now would I?

To save all the frustration and aggravation of that crazy little thing called love, I can only smile to myself and say to you: Coffee, anyone? :-P