Mama's Got A Brand New Bag

All right, so I'm gonna say one thing, just gonna put it out there. If you want it, keep it. If not, you can send it right back. I miss Corey. And I mean, like, thinking-about-him-all-day-wondering-why-he-hasn't-called-me miss him. But then again, he's in Miami, with the beautiful people, so I can't hate. It's been 5 days and I miss him. There ya go, that's all I have to say about that. Moving on...

It's been a strange week for me. I've had 2 migraines, gained 5 pounds, slept great, been stressed out, helped others, had my period, made nice and had a sex dream, all in 5 days. Not a bad week for me. And I did it all without reaching out to anyone in my network of friends. I'm a friggin' soldier! But yeah, this week has been pretty serious and the one thing that sticks out in my mind is that everybody was telling me how quiet I was. And I mean everyone. From La'Keyia to Kristy to my brother to Cheryll at work. Like I'm never that. And I know DENIAL's not just a river in Egypt, but I think back and I just don't see why they think I'm so loud. Keyia, all right, she's around me 24/7, but my co-workers? That's nuts.

So of course hearing that so many times this week made me decide that I was going to continue on this road. And I know no one's gonna like it, but I'm just tired of being the resident bitch. Since when is loud and opinionated synonymous with being a bitch anyway? I mean, besides the things I say, I take care of people. Are my actions automatically discounted because there's a little lip service along with it? I don't do it as I do the service, I'm not like that. I don't throw things in people's faces. Half the time, when I do something for someone, I don't even mention it. That's just me. I like to take care of those I care about and don't ask for anything in return. I don't EXPECT anything in return. Never have. When I'm being an asshole, that's just the mood I happen to be in. It doesn't mean I love you any less or have no respect for you. It's all me. So do what Corey does, ignore my ass. Cuz I'm gonna apologize anyway. Believe you me, I know how far I can go with whom and I DO take that into consideration when I'm in wild out mode, so I never push further than I can.

Which brings me to the point of my blog today. No more loud, in your face BAM! me. I'm still gonna be the same person, I'm just gonna keep it in until I really get to know a person. Veronica told me (always has) that the world's not ready for me. And that's cool, but the world hasn't been ready for me since f'n forever, so when's gon' be my time? Apparently never, which stands for a call to action on my end. I'd like to think I rule the world but as we know, I am NOT the center of the universe (I wish I was the center of SOMEONE'S universe, but that's another blog for another day) and I have to be conscious of other people. Granted, it's hard when people prove you right in so many ways on so many different levels, but I will make an earnest effort nonetheless. Oh, it's gonna be hard, SO HARD, but somethin's gotta give, right. So be ready for many an angry blog, cuz I'm gonna be doing some SERIOUS venting!

It's going to be interesting to see, though, cuz I know my friends are gonna FLIP out! Corey's gonna push me til I wild out, Jude's gonna tell me straight up he hates it, Martini's gonna love it, Keyia won't be able to deal, Kristy's gonna stop talking to me, Wendy's gonna step up her game to make up for what she thinks is missing, my dad's gonna think I'm depressed, my brother's gonna stress me to find out what's wrong, everyone's gonna have something to say. But I will let it rock, cuz I'm over the whole man repellent, resident bitch deal. I'm gonna take a step back all the time and if it seems like I'm holding back, well, tough titty. If no one liked me the way I was, then they're gonna have to deal with the way I'm about to become. You can't please everybody all the time, but I'm just tired of being the one that seems to make everyone unhappy, so I'm done. Mama's got a brand new bag...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is That Eyeliner You're Wearing, Charlie Day?

So I was watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia a few weeks ago when I noticed that Charlie 's eyes were so prominent. He's a funny little man whose antics never fail to please so I pushed it to the back of my mind. I know people wear eyeliner to bring out the expression in their eyes because the lighting drowns it out, whatever floats your boat. And you never know, he may have REALLY pretty eyes that just look like he's wearing eyeliner. Then I was watching last night and realized there was no DOUBT Charlie was wearing eyeliner and I couldn't shake it. It really took me out of it. Nonethless, the show was AWESOME and I don't care if Charlie's a cross-dressing salad tosser's bitch, I'd watch him any time. Check it out, cuz it's quite possibly the best TV I've seen in a while.
Read more

What's So Different

I was talking to my cousin Debbie (the Princess) about dating last night when we ended up arguing about cultural differences. We're both Haitian, but I was raised Black American (that term itself is from the Haitian culture) whereas as she was raised with the culture deeply imbedded. I can honestly say I started "learning" how to be Haitian when I was 17. My friends all knew I was Haitian, but also knew I was basically in a Southern family. It's a long story, but I was kept as far away from anything Haitian as long as my mother could help it. That's just a little background, on to the argument. Now, Debbie and I are like night and day when it comes to men. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed and I cut someone before they get to use me. We're not only like that with men, we're liek that all around. I'm bookish, she's artistic. I'm witty, she gigles a lot. She's got numbers locked, I'd rather write a story. We're just...opposi...
Read more

Unleashed

Jet Li in Unleashed equals Porn with dialogue (and THAT'S all I have ot say about that...) Lazy Sunday (That's how I roll). New Summer programming kicks off tonight with my new personal favorite, The 4400 , so I'll be sure to catch you up with the rest of the shows later this week.
Read more