"JustTrina"

I will start this post with a disclaimer: I'm a little emotionally volatile right now. But I can see clearly, so my feelings aren't totally unfounded. I've come to the conclusion that I have a bad friend. She's self-centered, selfish, inconsiderate and pretty much an all around bitch. Having once prided myself with the bitch connotation at one point, I can easily see why I was drawn to her. I guess just not when directed at me. Let me explain my situation: I am homeless, for all intensive purposes. I don't have a place, I gave it up for a job that has since been eliminated. I work at a retail store that was just meant to pass time until I moved to embark on my new journey. That didn't happene and I'm devastated. I am currently staying with my cousin, sharing her bed and being in the way. I cry myself to sleep and can't seem to get around to getting an upper hand on anything. But I digress. This friend offered her couch and when I took her up ...

We all date below our "young age," that's a fact. Brittany's boyfriend is a few years younger than her, but it keeps her fresh and excited. Nothing summarizes the May-December union like McKenzie, though. To her 20-year old counterpart, she said: "Please buckle your seatbelt, I don't have your carseat." I love her, and she has won the Line of the Day.

Just a reminder to myself to write -- and of course, a tease to you!! Gnats Landing Malaria boobs Blue Moon...in a jar County Line Brock Best cover band EVER Satan's lifeline The parade El Sombrero I'll write about 'em, but I'm pretty drunk and needed a reminder.

The things I'll admit to when I'm drunk... I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! :)

So McKenzie and I are here at her place drinking TONS of alcohol, simply a prelude to the binge that will be Georgia Southern's BEST HOMECOMING WEEKEND EVER!! I spoke to Shenika today and one thing she said stuck with me; that McKenzie and I have a lesbian love affair. Which we totally do, but most great friendships border on lover-dom. The main reason she said that is because we ourselves have a lesbian love affair...and that was her way of expressing her jealousy. The best friendships -- to me -- are like relationships. I have wonderful love affairs with one of my favorite gays, Shane, Kristy, Shenika, John and Justin. To me, the closest bonds walk that fine line. It's just about being with people you love a huge portion of your free time. I often call myself Justin's 2nd girlfriend and John's surrogate; it doesn't mean I want to be with either of them, it's just that we're together so much and I hold them in such high regard that they are THAT integ...

I'm sorry, Blogger, I've been cheating on you, once again. But I'm back, and will give you the attention you deserve. I posted this on Facebook and thought it only right I let you read it as well. I'm sorry, it won't happen again. "Funny's Funny, No Laugh Track Necessary" I'm sure we're all in agreement that a lot of television shows airing in the States didn't originally begin here. "Hole in the Wall" is based on a Japanese game show, "The Weakest Link" started in England, as well as gems like "The Office" and the sorely missed "Whose Line is it Anyway." We're not the most creative, but I love TV, so networks get a pass. What I will NOT tolerate, however, is being told when I'm supposed to laugh. Last night, I was watching the Disney short series "Brian O'Brian," a complete RIP off the AMAZING BBC bit "Mr. Bean" starring the incomparable Rowan Atkinson. The basic pr...

One day I'll make it in the big city... And I'll be lookin' for a girl who's pretty. One day I'll make a play, And she will say 'OK,' 'Cuz I plan to be a cool kid. How did I NOT know he was gay?? Tevin Campbell, people... "Round and Round," circa 1991

So....I started to watch the debate last night (and this morning). All I can say is the first time, I opted to watch a TiVo'd episode of Robot Chicken. The second time, I fell asleep. Maybe it's because I've already made my choice.

In celebration of Justin's birthday, the usual suspects headed out for a night of fun filled adventures. Below's a breakdown of our activities (there's a story in here, don't worry), I think you'll enjoy. If not, at least I have it documented. OVERALL GOAL FOR THE NIGHT: F.U.B.A.R Desintation #1: Fellini's Goal: Pizza & beer We went dutch at Fellini's, which was my only true participation in the evening's shenanigans. I enjoyed my spinach calzone and Blue Moon with orange and was ready to head home. Justin offered to pay my way in to destination #2, so I agreed and went so far as to promise a drink for drink match up to attain the evening's overall goal. Destination #2: The Punchline Goal: Laughs & alcohol Justin and I are HUGE fans of the show Reno: 911!! as I'm sure many of you are. Jim Schubert, a comedian on the show, was performing at The Punchline Saturday night, that's where we headed. Since Justin was paying my way, I was sup...

I've loved him for years...and this will play at our wedding. 'Nuff said.

Some longtime readers know the battle I've had with my feelings for Jeff, but I can assure you, I've never been more absolute in my intentions. I don't shy away from how I feel anymore, I simply live with them. I've f's things up in the past and hurt the very last person on Earth I wanted to hurt, and I have to deal with that. Idle apologies and declarations of love won't get me anywhere on this one. So, yes, I love Jeff. I don't think I've ever swayed on THAT point, it is what it is. Being in love with him comes in waves, as he lives 700 miles away and I rarely speak to him besides the occasional text or phone call. And, more likely than not, he's the one I will marry and make babies with. I get that, and I'm comfortable with it. But you may find yourself wondering why. I'll tell you. It's always been Jeff. Jeff who loved me (he may not admit that, but I know) when I was fat (ter). Jeff who prefers my glasses to my contacts, J...

I think I did a bad thing this morning. And yes, it is only 6:57am. Even I can f things up before the sun rises. I've been thinking about Jeff for the past few days, so much so that I was losing sleep. So I texted him. If you know me, you know my phone broke and I lost all my numbers. I only remember 10, and he was one of them. That means something, because I have over 350 ACTUAL contacts in my phone. The text wasn't too involved, just a "hope all is well" kind of deal. No sweeping declarations of love, no apologies about being a bad friend, nothing. Just "what's up." Then it got a little more involved and I ended up hitting on him. Which brings me to this conclusion: I'm going to sleep with the love of my life. And yes, that means Jeff. True to full Ross and Rachel form, we've done the "will they, won't they" thing, the "we tried, but it didn't work out" thing and the "date other people" thing. ...

According to Jenn, tropical storm "Gustav" is predicted to be the 2ND worse storm to hit land...since f'n KATRINA. What happened to the days of "Walking on Sunshine," sheesh!?!

So my darling friend (and other half) made out with a caucasian gentleman last night. Thing is, she wasn't quite sure how to proceed from there. He made moves that to me, were usual for the behavior of a young white man, but to her, messed up her equilibrium. Not to draw the racial line in the sand, but there are certain mannerisms and virtues shared by the male sex that also get divided by their upbringing. For example, this young man made moves to, um, "digitally pleasure" my friend, which she wanted no parts of. She's used to the usual progression of making out to actual sex, digital penetration are the moves of a middle schooler as opposed to those of a "grown man." (her words, she's behind me dictating...she actually used the words "finger fuck champ," but I'm classier than that.) This has inspired a little book I like to call "The Swirl: How to deal with Interracial Relationships." Since she's the one who gets into ...

Let me lay this out. My phone isn't paid for, but I answer EVERY CALL I GET, no matter what time of day or night. Other people actually have their phones paid for, and NEVER PICK UP. They listen to my voicemail and text me back an answer. It sometimes annoys me, but I pride myself on my voicemail leaving abilities and normally don't mind. As of last night, I'm DONE. From here on out, if I call someone and they don't answer, I'm NOT leaving a voicemail. If a ball gets dropped, so f'n BE it. It's time to start holding people responsible for not handling their business, because they're the ones with benefits.

All right, kiddies, I wanted to wait a few days before I starting blogging about my journey into making a lifestyle change, but I'm having a rough day so I have to vent about it. Last Monday, I started Dr. Ian Smith's "Fat Smash Diet." I'd always planned on doing it, but it took my latest foray into the real world and heart-wrenching conversation with my dad to really get on the ball with it. The diet starts off with a "detox" period of 9 days. During detox, you can basically eat nothing but fruits and vegetables for those beginning days. Sprinkle in some cream of wheat (or oatmeal, whichever you prefer), brown rice, beans and tofu, you've got your entire menu for almost a week and a half. I breezed through the first 6 days nearly without incident and then all the sudden, a craving HIT ME yesterday. Being day 7, I chalked it up to a fleeting instance and went about my business. The craving gained momentum as the day progressed, though. I was co...

I really do love listening to The Bert Show. This morning was the best and most exciting radio I've heard in a while. Not to say their other shows aren't awesome, but their other shows haven't incited me like they did this morning. Let me explain. First, I LOVE NKOTB. Always have and apparently, always will. But my love affair with the best boy band since New Edition was tainted -- by one Jordan Knight. If you've read my blog before, you know that my brother and I were avid listeners (and fans) of his self-titled solo CD. Well, before moving to Atlanta, my dad bought us tickets to see him perform at B.B. King's in New York City. We got there early with a whole day planned and when we passed B.B. King's, the marquee read (verbatim) "Jordan Knight of NKOTB." Figuring it had to be listed like that to sell tickets, we thought nothing of it and went about our day. WOW, were we wrong. The show consisted of Mr. Knight singing just his part of popular New Kid...

Since it's been about a month since I was on (read: had my breakdown on) the morning show here, I figured all six of you (seriously) would like to know the status of my whole dad-offering-me-$1000-to-lose-weight ordeal. Well, later that week, we had a celebration party for the ratings. At this party, to bury my problems, I proceeded to drink. Heavily. Beyond the point of intoxication, much to my chagrin. Most of the evening is a blur, but I'm pretty sure I had a LOT of fun. I know there were some HR-worthy comments made, followed by next day apologies. But that's not the point of today's blog, I digress. After my drinking binge, as I worshipped the porcelain God, I decided to start my diet. I figured since I couldn't keep anything down anyway, it was a good way to start with a clean slate, so to speak. So I started the Blood Type Diet and it is KILLING me. But, it's working. I've lost a good bit of body fat and I just know the pounds are going to melt away. ...

All right, so I've had a bad morning courtesy of Wachovia Bank, N.A. I deposited a check yesterday and was told that it would post to my account today. Now, I don't have money hand over fist like some people in the "industry" and have to pretty much rob Peter to pay Paul while putting Mary off another week. So, that being said, I've compiled a new list. TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU: WACHOVIA BANK, N.A. 10: Fees 9: Your CSRs trained with fake empathy while not giving you the complete opposite of what you actually need 8: Your deposit policy; why can I not get my money when I put it into the account? That's kinda crap 7: Your STUPID colors -- that's a lie, your colors are pretty cool 6: Fees 5: When I make a payment, why does it take 4 DAYS to post? It messes up the balancing of my checkbook, people 4: Your building downtown is gaudy 3: Fees 2: Your commercial about awesome customer service is full of lies, I know NO ONE with you that is hap...

It is 12:17AM and yes, I'm blogging. Why, you ask? Two reasons: I'm on the phone with my father doing his taxes (yes, that's a proper read: HIS TAXES) and this computer is SUPER slow. The fact that the taxes still aren't done is not even a factor in my upset because it is my father's M.O. As I sit here listening to 99X.com, I'm starting to think I need a boyfriend. Not to cuddle, chat or share love with; someone to distract me from tapping myself out for the betterment of my brother and my dad. That's it, I just need someone else to occupy my time so I'm not sitting in front of a computer at 12:23AM on tax day getting yelled at because I wasn't fast enough to get it taken care of by midnight. When did this ordeal start? At 10PM. So what's today's lesson? Let's see... A) My father will never change so it's up to me to make a change. 2) This whole "file by midnight" business is BS and D) Next year, I'm gonna hav...

So....I went to the mountains this past weekend and BOY was it just what I needed!! I went with the crew (Shenika, McKenzie, Mary, Charmain, John and Justin) and enjoyed all being on Top of the World had to offer. I drank, enjoyed the media room, read some Harry Potter and just RELAXED. It was the escape I was searching for and I'm so happy I went. It almost didn't happen, this trip. Nika and I were in an argument and we weren't sure if we'd come out the other end still friends. McKenzie just wanted things to get better but I was not the one concerned about the outcome. Anyway, there were arguments, anger, selfishness and closeness -- pretty much everything a family goes through when they're stuck together in a cabin with no way of escape. We fought over what to watch, what to do, where to go and what we ate but we all came home with closer bonds and stories to rehash for years to come. It was a great trip and I'm happy we all went and spent the time together...

I'm gonna need The Fray to come back on the music scene, plain and simple. Unless of course they've been here all along, using the pseudonym One Republic . Reclaim the throne, boys!!

My Dearest Robert, I just want the world to know I love you. A couple of weeks ago I was watching Food Network, otherwise known as porn for fat people, and I stumbled upon your gem of a show. Granted, I have never been a fan of yours, Alton Brown ( Good Eats ? C'MON!!) was my man of choice. A few years ago, Boy Meets Grill lost me because I lived in Albany and felt that loving you was an Adirondack tradition, one I could not and would be associated with. Then I saw you on Iron Chef America , alongside my man Alton. And, not to be rude, but there was something on your lip . I don't know what it was, and I won't accuse you of anything, what you do when the cameras are off is your business and yours alone. Needless to say, the combination turned me off so much I couldn't watch any show with you as a chef. Fast forward to late February and my discovery of Throwdown with Bobby Flay . You were in Brooklyn challenging the best cheesecake in the NATION (Junior's) and ...

Well, it's Good Friday, ya'll!! And what a good day it is. The WND (Wednesday Night Dinner) crew has decided we will continue in fellowship and start the tradition of having Easter dinner together. My tasks for this dinner are: Macaroni & cheese, candied yams and collard greens. Maybe I'll toss in some corn bread for good measure. I was trying to get everything prepared when I realized that my friend has my dish. I called her to pick it up, and her response was: "Is it necessary to get it now?" To which I answered, "Absolutely." She waited in silence for me to change my mind (which never happens) and then repeated the question. I answered the same and she again waited in silence for me to change my mind. See, one thing the needs to be understood about me is that, when I want, I am the MOST PATIENT PERSON EVER. So I waited right along with her (cuz I knew I'd win) until she conceded. I'm also in a "dialogue" with anoth...

...must come to an end. The universe and I were not BFFs yesterday, that's all I can say. It was seriously just one of those days. I was heading over to Fado to support my friends and coworkers but realized I didn't have anything green. It's not my favorite color so I tend not to shop for it. For fear of getting pinched, however, I went in pursuit. In my search of a Target, I passed Fado twice and ended up having to head up to Sydney Marcus Blvd., pretty much back where I started. I ran in, tried on TWO shirts, realized I had the budget for ONE, paid the cashier and left with the shirt on. I then headed back down to Fado, braving Atlanta traffic for a 3RD time. When I got to Fado, long story short, I couldn't get in. This was after spending my last $5 on valet (which, by Atlanta standards, is not so bad). I was visibly shaken and upset, so I got back in my car ($5 broker) and headed home. I'm an emotional vault (regardless of how this blog may read) and yesterday wa...

Talk about shooting myself in the foot, I tell ya. Apparently, my "anonymous" blog is not as anonymous as I thought, my doveys!! The morning show I wrote about ealier kinda e-mailed me to call me out about stamping my foot like an impetuous child (my words, not theirs). I was impatient in not getting a response, depressed about being fat and just overall had a bad moment. So now I've got to find some crow. I wasn't used and it was unfair of me to say so. I'm not even writing this entry in hopes they'll read it and all will be forgiven, I just needed to get it off my chest. Look at that, I go MONTHS without writing and today, there are TWO entries. So thanks to them for the inspiration. So what now? I'm going to go home, wash my hair and head out to Fado for the St. Patty's Day celebration, bitches!! It's about time to get out of my funk and green beer is JUST what I need to set things right. Like my darling BFF Wendy Lisa says, "Don't let...

I know it's been a while...and I just want everyone to know that I am having a TERRIBLE time of it. Things are in shambles and I am feeling the weight of everything. Let's see...My brother is now moving back to New York, which I am TOTALLY okay with, becuase it is his last time floating between myself and my father. He wants to be an adult but continues to act like a 16-year-old brat. He smokes weed twice/thrice a day and is just becoming disgusting to me. His brain is fried (he used the word "throwed" in an actual conversation last night) and I can't be worried about him anymore. I haven't even birthed any children, yet I find myself taking care of him like my mother would. My taxes are a mess, and I can't stand it. I can't claim my brother as a dependent, though I supported him the entire year and paid for his schooling, to my own financial detriment. He said no one can claim him on his own taxes so he could get a refund. How much did he walk away wi...

Dearest "Ross" -- Yes, I'm years too late and yes, this thin veil of anonymity is probably not the declaration you're looking for. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're not looking for a declaration from me at ALL. Nonetheless, this is keeping me awake and I need it out of my head. Let me first start off with an apology. I was going to start with the fact that I love you, but that's WAY too cliche for my taste. So, I'm sorry. Sorry I was a bitch to you for the entire duration of our 3 week relationship and the vast majority of our high school friendship. Sorry I emasculated you, kept you at arms length and constantly made you feel inadequate. I don't really have an explanation for my behavior, just that I wasn't where I needed to be for us to survive--or better yet, strive. So there you have it, I'm sorry for all I did (and didn't do) throughout our time together. I write this letter in hopes that it finds you and that maybe someday, ...