Size Matters

Ya know, I've always been that girl that didn't care what she looked like cuz she knew her personality was that bomb. And I still feel that way, most of the time. I know my fabulousness is made up of more than the clothes I wear and how I accessorize. But this morning, I felt (for the first time in the world) inadequate. Like no matter what, my personality wasn't enough. But that of course made me think, which made some questions come to mind. Then these thoughts....

Why, with all my greatness, should my size matter at all? All my friends tell me I'm not big and I don't see myself as big, but this morning was a bit of a reality check. I was on the phone with Corey and we were talking about my weight. Since he's really only seen head shots of me, he really knows nothing about my body. So I told him what size I wore (12, for anyone wondering). The thing is, his response wasn't reassuring at all. He then asked me if I was a 12 because of the girls (PB&J) or if I was "all over the place." What in the hell?!? All over the place? Like I need to be lifted out of my house on a crane like some loser on "Jerry Springer."
Now I understand the man (he is a man, I gotta stop calling him kid) has a clothing line and it's his business to know stuff like that. So I know he's got a critical eye. But I don't want to be uncomfortable around him cuz I'm worried I don't fit into what he calls attractive. And that's not even the point cuz I don't care what he thinks of my body, cuz we ain't bumpin'. The point is, is Corey so shallow that someone's size is what makes or breaks his attraction to them? I don't want to believe that, cuz he seems to be a great guy. Well, from what I've gotten to know, he IS a great guy (gotta give props when props are due). Hell, he puts up with me, that says a hell of a lot!
So my brother was tellin' me about how he was losin' weight and bl-bl-bluh and got upset with me cuz I wasn't excited. And he was right, so I told him so. He asked me why and I told him it was because he always tries to lose weight before a big family event. Always. He never diets or exercises as a lifestyle change, and we all know how I'm about righteous intentions. When I brought it to his attention, though, I was met with shock and awe. What for? What I speak is the truth, suck it up. Just like I have to take it, so do you. So nonetheless, he's mad at me. And I don't care. He'll get over himself sooner or later.
So yeah, that's about all that happened today. Lemme know your thoughts on the whole "size" issue, cuz apparently to some, it matters.
Well, I'm hoppin' my big ass into the shower, but let me leave you with this thought: big bitches know big tricks!! ;-)

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